


Love Language

by haissitall



Category: Video Blogging RPF
Genre: Alternative Universe - Kingdom, Humor, M/M, Techno is an idiot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-09
Updated: 2020-11-09
Packaged: 2021-03-08 18:13:56
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 946
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27471040
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/haissitall/pseuds/haissitall
Summary: King Technoblade struggles with expressing his feelings for the prince of the neighbouring kingdom.
Relationships: Dave | Technoblade/Wilbur Soot
Comments: 10
Kudos: 264





	Love Language

Technoblade admits he is prone to obsessions. However, so far this character trait seemed to be more of a blessing - if he puts his mind to something, he won’t stop until he gets what he wants. And God, are his ambitions grandiose - why settle for less? If he has to be smart, he has to be the smartest, devouring hundreds of books. If he has to fight, he has to be the best swordsman the kingdom has ever known. If he happens to be an heir, he does not succumb to threats and plots against him and seizes the crown when his time is due. And if he has to rule the kingdom, then he’s going to make it the most powerful one - nothing less.

But maybe this time the star is just too high for him to reach and he fails to admit it?

He crunches another sheet of paper, smearing the ink. Another unfinished letter - he throws it onto the pile. He is usually good with words, quick-witted and precise, but the letter he tries to write refuses to submit to him. Technoblade looks at the neat rows of writing, and they’re all wrong: too arrogant, too sincere, too sentimental, too cold - everything at once, pathetic, flat and phoney. 

He sighs, he knows the reason for this - he is unsure of himself. There is a worm of self-doubt eating each of his words from inside out with the question: what if the response will be negative?

After all, why wouldn’t it be? Technoblade foresees how his letter might look in the eyes of the addressee - a desperate confession of love one can cruelly laugh at, or worse, treat it with friendly coldness and pity. He might be a king, but he’s still a monster, practically begging for the hand of the man who is, well… the most beautiful man the world.

And yes, he knows that for sure. If needed, he could provide proof, he could call for the most handsome men in all the known lands and beyond to compete for the title, and Technoblade is certain he knows who would win. Prince Wilbur. His unruly hair, his dark eyes, his curled lips, his rosy cheeks, his face, so animated with mischief, so lightened up by wit, his movements, jaunty and confident, his voice, fickle and compelling- Does he need to go on?

And Technoblade, he… he has a head of a pig. He is also unsocial and sarcastic to the point of rudeness, alienating and intimidating. Even his usually strongest suit, written word, fails him now. He grunts, putting his head on the smooth tabletop.

He knows all that. And yet, deep down, he refuses to settle for less.

And yes, goddammit, loneliness would be less too, even though he wouldn’t have believed in himself thinking like that not so long ago. It would be less, every option other than Wilbur would be less, not good enough, not impossible enough.

"Who is he to refuse me anyway?" Technoblade finds himself thinking with sudden anger. The prince of fishermen and sheepherders! He should be grateful that such a great king even looks at him. Technoblade should write-

No, no, the words are coming out all ugly, like squished bugs, even random ink blots would be better than this. Another crumpled paper flies to the rest, and he lies back on the table in exhaustion and frustration.

Fishermen and sheepherders. A peculiar little kingdom, with green grass carpets on top of rocky cliffs. Like any good king, Technoblade has detailed plans for war with each of his immediate neighbours, as well as far-away lands, as well as hypothetical threats, such as the ones which exist only in fairytales. You name it - he can wage war on household spirits and mermaids if they turn out to be real and hostile. And he knows he can take over the small kingdom in, like, a week. Give or take a few days for making it look like he was defending himself for diplomatic reasons. It would be trivially easy to-

No. Surely not.

Well...

He would get to see Wilbur again, that’s for sure. Who knows when they'll get to meet again, separated by borders and etiquette. And even if he does see him, will he have the right words to say? Besieging his home would definitely provide a great conversation starter. Technoblade didn’t notice how he started pacing the room.

After all, the greatest wisdom he learned throughout his life, is that violence actually does solve problems. Hell, he took his crown by force. It’s just what he does.

Technoblade rushes back to his desk. The declaration of war is so much easier to write than a love confession, words appear on paper as if on their own, effortless. Granted, he is usually more concise, but this time, even though Wilbur is not the official addressee, it’s like he’s writing to him, so he shows off, juggling polite threats and sarcastic compliments. He’s never been more passionate about his writing, chuckling to his own little jokes and imagining how Wilbur would probably find them amusing too. A bit terrifying, given the context, but amusing. It seems like he won’t even have to edit this, sentences just form naturally when he is so in his element, talking about destruction and slaughter. He finishes it in no time, ending the document with:

_Resistance is futile._

_With love,_

_Technoblade_

He re-reads it, content with himself. Now that’s how you start a conversation with someone you like! He puts his seal on the letter and sinks into the chair. This is the most excited he’s ever been for a war.


End file.
